Is This Love
by NobleTruth
Summary: During their hunt for the Collectors, Shepard and Garrus had fallen for each other. She never thought their paradise would ever be lost. After the war with the Reapers, their personal goals and aspirations change, and what they share comes to an end. Somewhere along the path, Shepard realizes that her best friend, isn't just a friend. Is this love? Will she lose another friend?
1. Chapter 1

Shepard couldn't believe what was happening. Tears blurred her vision again before falling over and spilling down her cheeks. After everything she had sacrificed for him, after everything he had sacrificed for her… the life they had built was over. She swiped at her face as she diligently worked on packing her half of their life. Her body moved of its own accord without much thought. She folded and packed, folded and packed, folded and packed.

Fluid began to leak from her nose and she wiped it with the back of her hand. The small stone on the ring scraped the tip and she looked down at it. It wasn't luxurious, but perfect all the same; gold with a half a carat round diamond. A symbol of where their future was supposed to progress to. Shepard stood from the mound of clothes around her and walked to their dresser. She twisted off the ring and looked at it again.

_Did he even understand what this meant to me? Did he only vaguely research human customs and give this to me without any real thought behind it?_ The ring clattered down on the wooden surface. How could he do this to her? They'd been through so much together. He had stood by her side through Saren, the Collectors, and the war with the Reapers… even when she awoke in a hospital with scars covering ninety percent of her body from third degree burns, he had loved her.

A couple years later, after extensive cosmetic surgeries that made her look like the woman she was before (thanks again to Miranda), she had a life on Palaven with the man of her dreams. Shepard felt as if she had everything she could ever wish for. Coming out of her thoughts, she took a staggering step back and fell to floor, body-racking sobs seizing her body and stealing her breath.

She groaned her pain out loud and swayed back and forth, hugging herself trying to pacify the ache within her. All she wanted was to be happy with him. Love him and share their love with another life. Even if it was just one life she would be satisfied. She just wanted to be a mother whether the child was his with a donor and surrogate or hers… even adoption was an option. The war had left so many broken homes and orphans they could have adopted and she would have loved that child as if he or she had come from her flesh.

For the first time in their long history he had denied her. He had been her rock and shield for so long she couldn't believe he would allow this to happen. That this was enough to effectively end their years long relationship. He couldn't be a parent now…_wouldn't_ be a parent now when his people needed him. He needed to remain in the military, how could he devote more time to her and a child? It wasn't his time to be a father; couldn't she just enjoy what they shared?

"Shepard?" she heard her name called from another room in the house but she couldn't bring herself to answer. She just continued to sway and cry. Shepard had a family once. A mother, father, and an older brother. For as long as she could remember, she wanted to be a mother like her own. She wanted to build a family in love the way her parents had, she needed to have a family… it was what she dreamed of since hers were brutally taken away from her when she was sixteen. This dream was something she _couldn't_ sacrifice, would _not _compromise on, so she had to leave.

The realization of how different _their_ love for one another was is what broke her heart the most. Had he ever loved her the same way she had loved him? Was it their differences in culture, coming from different species? Why didn't he want to father her children? All these questions raced through her head. She didn't hear the approaching footsteps or see the person enter the bedroom she shared with him.

"Oh, Shepard," a tortured and strained voice came from the door. Suddenly a body was sinking down to the floor next to her and arms were drawing her into an embrace. Her head was cradled against a chest, hands smoothed away wet hair from her eyes, warmth surrounded her and a soft familiar fragrance filled her senses. For the first time in days she didn't feel so alone anymore.

_Liara._

* * *

**_I took some advice from a friend and decided to write different stories outside of my canon Shep (a story I haven't uploaded yet). As I was cruising around on the Mass Effect kink website looking for a prompt I saw one I thought I'd try. The prompt: Shepard didn't romance anyone in ME1, but romanced Garrus in ME2. She's always been friends with Liara, but nothing romantic ever came up between them. After ME3, Garrus and Shepard begin having problems and split up. Liara is always there for Shep, a shoulder to cry on, her outlet when she needs to vent. All of a sudden Shep discovers she's fallen in love with her best friend._**


	2. Chapter 2

[Garrus]

_I got my stuff from your place on Intai'sei_

Thanks.

_Can we talk? Please?_

Later.

_It's been over a month… I miss you_

I'm not ready.

Soon. I promise.

_I love you._

* * *

Shepard leaned back on the chair and allowed her head to fall forward into her hands. She tried to rub the exhaustion from her eyes with her fingers to no avail. With a long sigh she got up from the terminal she used to help Liara manage the Shadow Broker network. She needed a coffee break desperately. Her eyes landed on the Shadow Broker herself as she typed furiously and scanned the monitors of incoming information.

After being "rescued" by her friend during the fallout of her break-up with Garrus, Liara had brought her back to her family estate on Thessia. The huge house was under renovation and being rebuilt in certain areas due to damage sustained during the war. When Shepard first laid eyes on the T'Soni estate, she couldn't help but gawk in awe. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Liara had to have come from a life of privilege but it was hard to reconcile with the down-to-earth asari she'd known that had fought side by side with her.

Many times Liara rolled her eyes and laughed at her silly antics after she began to call her "lady" or "your majesty". In the first days when Shepard had come, they walked around the property and Shepard would listen as Liara told her the history of her family and stories of her childhood with Benezia. Liara's lineage was astounding and the potent love within her family was so beautiful, she wished she had been able to meet the Matriarch before indoctrination.

Liara also told her that shortly after returning to Thessia to help with the rebuilding effort; a few of her mother's previous acolytes had asked if they could help her with the estate. She tried to assuage their guilt of feeling like they had abandoned Benezia when she went on the mission to deter Saren, but they persisted that if they could help they'd be blessed by their previous teacher in the afterlife.

Out of nine, only one of the acolytes, Elysia, knew the truth behind what Liara (and now Shepard) was doing down in the basement of the house. Elysia, was chosen to act as steward by Matriarch Benezia until her return after helping the misguided Spectre. Fortunately, the lower level of the house had proven to be the most secure during the war and had kept her relatively safe from the Reapers and now Liara used it as her new "lair".

"Hey, Liara." Shepard tugged on an elbow. "Let's take a break."

Tired blue eyes turned to look at her. A small warm smile and a slow blink of lush lashes made the asari look ridiculously adorable and instantly lifted Shepard's mood. Immediately she smiled and silently tugged on the elbow again. In that moment, Shepard realized that she hadn't cried a single tear since sharing a month and a half with her dearest friend. The pain was there, but Liara was like a soothing balm.

As they sleepily gazed at each other, a sudden pang of sadness struck Shepard's heart and her smile faltered. Of course, Liara noticed, her own smile falling into a frown.

"What's wrong?" she asked tenderly, concern filling clear blue eyes.

With her home now available on Intai'sei, it meant that she could get out of Liara's hair so to speak. Shepard didn't exactly relish the idea of losing this companionship and her shoulders slumped at the thought. Her eyes dropped momentarily, "I don't want to leave." She said as she looked back up.

Slowly, cobalt lips lifted and features relaxed. "I don't recall telling you to get out, silly." Liara pushed back the section of hair that had fallen into her eyes when she had looked away.

An audible exhale left Shepard as she took Liara by the hand and lead her to a pair of chairs. She didn't retract her hand when they sat in an attempt to give comfort before breaking the news to her friend. Instead she leaned her elbows on her knees and coaxed Liara to do the same. Liara innocently laced their fingers together causing Shepard's stomach to do a flip. She shook her head to get her thoughts together.

"Garrus moved out of my place. I can go home."

Once again, Liara's smile fell into a frown. Her free hand came to rest on their clasped hands. "Shepard… you do not have to leave. Please don't feel that you have to. I-I love… having you here."

Shepard couldn't help the mischievous grin that spread at Liara's words. "You love having me here for my free labor." She tried to erase that pinch between Liara's brows and succeeded; earning a swat to her shoulder in the process.

"It's not free when I provide a home and feed that insatiable gut of yours."

Shepard quirked a manicured brow; smile still in place, "Are you calling me fat, Dr. T'Soni?"

Blues eyes began a trek down her sitting form then back to her brown eyes. Heat infused her cheeks and she felt embarrassed at the blatant stare. "Definitely not fat… well not yet at least. Give it a week." Liara said as she reached a hand to Shepard's abdomen and pinched the skin through her shirt.

A high pitch squeak left the former commander as she jumped back out of the chair and out of the asari's reach. Liara was almost doubled over in laughter and tears perched in the corners of amused wide eyes.

An observer wouldn't believe the two were adults as Shepard's face scrunched in a soft growl and she lunged for the information broker. She forgot how fast Liara was and found herself chasing after the quick blue form who'd taken off in a run toward the storage room, melodious giggles trailing behind her. It didn't take Shepard long to catch up and tackle Liara to the ground. As soon as she got her hands on the squirming form, she began her assault of tickling exposed sensitive areas.

Shepard laughed at Liara's squeals and asked, "Do you give up, T'Soni?"

The shrieked "Yes" contradicted her body movements as she bucked her hips and tried to flip over on top of Shepard. Instead Shepard clamped her thighs over Liara's legs from behind, then took hold of both arms and secured them with one hand behind her back. Her remaining hand was free to continue their assault.

Her advantage didn't last long when she felt the tingle of biotics surrounding her. "Hey! That's unfair!" Shepard abruptly found herself suspended in midair and a prowling asari observing her like prey. "You win! You win!"

Liara's head fell back in glorious laughter before sobering with a gleam in her eyes, "In what method shall I exact my revenge, Commander Shepard?" Liara asked tapping a thoughtful index finger to her lips.

"By letting me down?" Shepard asked hopefully. She was completely powerless to the whims of the most dangerous information broker in the galaxy.

Liara shook her head "no" trying to hide her smile and appear intimidating by biting down on her lower lip. The effect wasn't what she desired as Shepard thought it appeared appealing more than off putting. She tried to squirm but her arms and legs were held securely in place.

Shepard pouted when she realized there was absolutely nothing else she could do. "But you started it!" the human protested like a child which made them both crack up in laughter. Their laughter drowned out the approaching footsteps.

"Looks as if sounds can be extremely deceiving. I expected to barge in here and fuck up whoever was taking advantage of my daughter, but to my _great_ disappointment… her virtue is very much intact."

Before Shepard could react to Aethyta's sudden presence, she was crashing to her knees on the ground. Liara winced apologetically and looked thoroughly embarrassed with her cheeks darkening a pretty shade of violet. "Goddess… Dad!" she hissed as she walked into the Matriarch's open arms and was enveloped in a rough hug.

"The idea is to have Shepard naked with her ass in the air, Liara. I thought I told you how restraints work. Humans love that kinky shit," the older asari continued while patting the maiden on her back enthusiastically; this time drawing a blush from Shepard as well.

"It's good to see you again, Aethyta." Shepard gave a small bow.

Aethyta sniffed indignantly and waved away the formal greeting. "You saw me less than a week ago, Shepard. Save all that polite formal bullshit for the matriarch's that care. I mean, are you really trying to screw my daughter or something?"

"Dad!" Liara's exasperation was evident as she held her forehead. Aethyta's gravelly laugh sounded in the small room and she began to make her way toward the door that lead to the main room with all the terminals. She had effectively embarrassed them both and made things unbelievably awkward in less than a minute.

"Okay, okay, Little Wing. No need to get your panties in a bunch," She lowered her voice to a raspy whisper that Shepard could still hear. "Perhaps Shepard can help you out with that if it happens." She hurriedly exited with a wink not listening to either of their protests of 'it's not like that' and 'we're only friends'.

Liara stood with her back facing Shepard even after the sound of the elevator told them the matriarch was on her way back upstairs. Their playful mood ended and Shepard noticed the forward slump in Liara's shoulders as she approached her friend.

"Don't be so blue, Blue," she said lightheartedly.

Shepard slung her arm over those slumped shoulders and pulled her into a half hug. Liara straightened then leaned deeper into the embrace, laying her head on Shepard's shoulder and wrapping her arms around Shepard's waist. They similarly stood now as they did in the rubble of London when Liara offered special memories and thoughts before the final push to the beam.

"Don't go." Shepard could barely hear the asari's whispered request. She placed a quick kiss to Liara's forehead then leaned her cheek on it.

"You're making it hard for me to." Shepard knew she should get back to her own life and work. She'd taken off for personal time from the orphanage she ran in the colony on Intai'sei. With Kelly Chambers taking care of the business in her absence she knew she didn't have any worries, but that didn't stop the encroaching guilt. The woman was usually in charge with her travels in between there and Palaven, but she didn't want to take advantage.

It was strange how she hadn't seen Liara for six months prior to coming to stay and now after being with her for a month and a half Shepard didn't like the thought of not seeing her every day. Despite her personal issues and sadness, Liara made her happy; genuine happiness, which made the pain of losing Garrus tolerable. She found the courage to move forward because the asari had been there to steady her when she stumbled on the path.

After a few minutes of quietly standing together, Liara stepped away with a sad smile. Shepard fought down the urge to cradle her cheek with her palm.

"I don't mean to keep you hostage, Shepard. I will miss you."

"You're willing hostage will miss you too." Shepard said, her heart feeling a new form of ache. She knew that her loneliness of losing Garrus would be eclipsed by missing Liara more. "But we're not saying good-byes just yet. C'mon, I still need a coffee. You kinda wore me out with that impromptu battle."

This time Liara's smile was brighter, sad thoughts banished from having Shepard with her in the present. The brighter smile eased some of the heart ache in her chest and they started their way to the elevator side by side.

"You know you're lucky your dad interrupted or else I woulda…."


	3. Chapter 3

"We didn't get the grant." Kelly intoned carefully. Her green eyes looked as tired as Shepard felt. Their vid call had begun merrily with Kelly expressing her excitement at Shepard's much improved disposition and near return, but the news of their fledgling funding was enough to sink both of their moods down the drain.

"How did we not get the grant? Everything is in order… our facility surpasses the required standards! We have qualified caregivers, instructors, and health professionals!" Shepard rubbed a path between her forehead and temples with her fingertips. Every time they took a step toward opening the orphanage _something_ happened to muck it all up. Without realizing, she slammed her fist down on the desk.

Kelly gently asked her to calm down although she felt as angry as Shepard. "It seems that our licensing and permits have been put on some kind of hold until further notice. Without them active and approved we were denied the grant."

"What do you mean 'put on hold'? They were just pending before I left! Garcia said they should be approved within two weeks! I'll kick her ass." Shepard stood and began pacing in the bedroom Liara had given her. Unrelenting anger heated her from head to toe. For almost a year she'd been fighting for funding and they hadn't even opened their doors yet. There were so many children without access to care and fucktards wanted to delay their help. Again! "Fucking assholes!" she growled out, her fists curled at her sides.

"From what I've found, they're funneling the money back to the homes on Earth. Liara, may be able to uncover more information if she still has her resources." Kelly advised unknowing that Liara was the most powerful information broker in the galaxy. Liara could probably funnel the money right back to their organization without a trace of involvement. Shepard returned to her desk and blew out a weary breath.

"Yeah, I'll ask. She's been busy working at the University recently, but… it wouldn't hurt to ask." Shepard said concealing the truth without telling a lie. Liara did work at the University as her cover. "Thanks Kelly… for everything. I don't think I've said that yet. I kinda went a bit crazy the last few weeks." Shepard eased a smile to her face.

"Do not mention it Shepard. You've helped me in more ways than one, like, saving my life on multiple occasions. Filling in for you for a few months is hardly paying you back." Kelly smiled warmly. "It looks like Liara has been a healthy influence on you."

"She always has." Shepard answered simply with a shrug of her shoulders.

Kelly watched Shepard's reactions closely. From the moment she'd seen them interact on Illium years ago, there was a current between the two that Shepard seemed not to be aware of. Kelly never mentioned it since the commander seemed oblivious and felt romantically toward Garrus, but to this day she felt Shepard had more chemistry with the asari.

The psychologist in her would observe their behaviors; the subconscious actions that most would think of as only familiar friendly affection. But there was a stark difference (in Kelly's opinion) of the friendly affection Shepard showed their other friend from the SR-1, Tali'Zorah. With Tali, Shepard's physical displays were sisterly and completely platonic. Kelly had noticed though, with Liara, Shepard tended to let her touch linger or would touch even when there wasn't a need. They gravitated closer together in conversation even if there weren't others engaged and when Liara smiled or laughed at something she had said or done, Shepard's answering smile was as if everything in the galaxy was perfect. It was almost amusing at how blind Shepard was to her more-than-friendly feelings due to her established beliefs regarding her sexuality.

As for the asari herself, Liara treated the commander with the care of her most valued possession. Those expressive blue eyes had a way of making Kelly long for a lover to look at her the way Liara did Shepard. She also did a masterful job of hiding her personal feelings once it became known that Shepard and Garrus were together, but it wasn't too hard to recognize the chinks in the armor if you knew what to look for. The only other person Kelly believed saw the truth was Miranda Lawson, but the operative respected Shepard and her privacy.

It was far from surprising that Liara was the first person Shepard turned to when things with Garrus went sour and the record setting intervention was astonishing. The human was plucked from Palaven and on Thessia before the message of her personal time off was received on Kelly's omnitool. Between their sporadic communications since being in Liara's company, Shepard's emotional state was nursed back to health better than anything Kelly or Shepard's other friends could do.

Now, with her future open to options, Kelly wondered if Shepard would notice her feelings for her dear friend or would she forever be destined to be obtuse. Well… once she completely comes to terms with the end of her relationship with Garrus, of course. _But it would never hurt just to plant the seeds… give a little push, _Kelly thought.

"Liara… she is quite the knight in shining armor," Kelly sighed wistfully her eyes taking on a dreamy state.

Shepard eyed Chambers suspiciously. That wasn't exactly the expression Shepard would use to describe Liara, but nevertheless it seemed strangely accurate. Kelly had a habit of romanticizing innocent situations, but something about the look in her eyes regarding Liara made her insides twist.

"She is a good friend." Shepard answered.

"Mm hm. One in a million that's for sure… I wish I had a friend like her."

Feeling slightly offended Shepard gave Kelly a frown. "I am your friend."

Kelly, appearing flustered for a moment straightened out of her enchanted demeanor nodding fervently at Shepard. "Of course you are Shepard! A great and terrific friend, but a mean a _friend_ like Liara… I think I would be completely smitten… perhaps I already am. She's pretty amazing," she looked embarrassed and the declaration surprised Shepard. Kelly and Liara?

"Uh… yeah… Liara is great. I… uh… do you…?" Rarely was Shepard ever at a loss for words. She'd never been confronted with a person's attraction toward Liara. That is, not including the men and women that looked at her like she was their last tasty meal. Physical attraction was one thing; Liara drew stares not just because she was an exotic asari but because she was staggeringly beautiful. But… Kelly and Liara?

Again, Kelly looked embarrassed. "No! I mean I wouldn't object... but I don't think I'm her type." Kelly's smile seemed to hide a meaning but Shepard didn't grasp it in the flood of relief she suddenly and confusedly felt. She'd never thought about what it would mean for their friendship if Liara was to be in a relationship with someone. How selfish did it make her not to want to share Liara?

The play of emotions on Shepard's face since Kelly began her game told her that the wheels in the woman's head were beginning to turn. _Good_… although her approach could have totally backfired then crashed and burned on someone other than the strong-minded commander. In her defense she was extremely out of practice with these sorts of things. Luckily, Shepard seemed to be taking the bait.

Shepard forced a smile to her face, still finding it hard to find something to say. She wanted to encourage Kelly to go for what she wanted yet not if it was Liara. Why she didn't want them together was another question in its own, but that's just how she felt. So, instead she said, "Well, I'm sure there is someone else out there that will sweep you off of your feet Kellz." She added the nickname to soften the stilted words.

Kelly didn't appear offended and instead smiled enthusiastically. "Yes, there is. And there is someone better for Liara than I."

"Mm hm."

Not wanting to overwhelm the commander after the noncommittal reply, Kelly changed the topic. "So, you'll be back at the end of the week?"

Sheppard nodded then said, "Yes, just in a few days."

"Okay! Well, I'll see you then! For now, enjoy your time off. We can discuss going forward with the business when you get back." She smiled and waited for Shepard's farewell before disconnecting.

For a few moments, Shepard sat reflecting on the last part of their conversation. If Liara became occupied with a lover, where would that leave Shepard? Only vid calls and short meetings here and there like when she was with Garrus? She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She'd become spoiled by the time she'd spent with Liara and it was clouding her judgement. _Of course nothing would change… right?_ Liara would always be the friend she could depend on with or without a significant other. Even still, the thought of someone being entitled to Liara's undivided attention bothered Shepard.

The frustration festered in her stomach uneasily until she was rising from her desk and making her way to the room down the hall as if by compulsion. She peeked in the open door to see Liara asleep on the middle of her large bed a few datapads scattered around her; covers were kicked haphazardly to the foot of the bed. It was late in the night on Armarli, but early morning on Intai'sei for Kelly and their conversation floated in her mind again as she crept to the side of the bed.

Liara at times could ignore a regular sleeping schedule so it was good to see her asleep in her bed and not at some random spot in the house for once. The dim lighting of the bedside lamp cast a warm glow on the perfect blue skin not covered by the silk gown. Liara's features were so relaxed and peaceful Shepard couldn't help but smile gently before brushing her fingers over the hand resting on the pillow next to Liara's face. "Sleep well, Li." She whispered before shutting off the lamp and turning to leave; her doubts and fears placated just by seeing her _friend_.


End file.
